As a young boy, it made a lasting impression on me when our local church ousted a young man who happened to be the pastor’s son. This son had apparently reached the limits of the church’s tolerance for resistance to the system and for pushing the boundaries of personal behaviours. So, he was removed in a public ceremony at which he was not present, and was considered from that point on to be an outsider of the church community.
The tears, the explanations, the sense of loss to the community had a huge impact on what I considered for my own life and beliefs. I knew that I never wanted to be the subject of such a grief process and such a separation from a community I valued. At that age, I did not have the courage to openly resist or challenge the system.
The result was that I became very skilled in undercover “operations”, learning how to spread my wings and try new things without becoming the object of any public censuring.
As I review a lifetime of experiences and observations about church practice and methods in relating to those who resist the systems, I find I have a very different set of interpretive lenses than I did at age 12.
That’s because I see something that I wouldn’t really acknowledge for a long time: That the church and individual Christians may actually be responsible for cases where a person rejects the church and is completely disillusioned with the “faith.”
The conventional wisdom among most Christians is that we should do our best, and if others reject the faith as we proclaim it, that is entirely their problem. They alone will suffer the consequences.
Actually, some of the harshest words of Jesus suggest to us quite a different scenario. Jesus seems to clearly put responsibility for others’ perception and openness to Jesus’ message on those who claim to embody that message.
Jesus: “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” From Matthew 18.
Jesus: “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.” From Matthew 23.
Most Christians I know do not accept any responsibility whatsoever for the anger and reactions of those who reject our faith. However, sometimes the culpability leads right back to us—those of us who do the speaking and acting in the church community.
The harshest words and judgments of Jesus were not aimed at sins like sexual immorality or even murder. He used most of his harsh words to condemn hypocrisy and religious abuses.
In my lifetime, I have often seen the church, or individual Christians, take strong and decisive action against young people who “rebel” against the system. I have never once observed the church, or individuals, publicly ask themselves in a serious way: “Are we, am I, responsible for the loss of faith and trust in that person?”
A close relative of mine rejected the church and the faith for many years. It turns out that the lead pastor in that church excommunicated my relative and others—all the while hiding personal issues of substance abuse, hypocrisy, deception, and spiritual abuses. The church, the conference, and fellow leaders all ignored the sin in that leader and endorsed the decisive excommunication of this youth who dared to resist the strict rules of the church.
How very different might be the outcomes in the lives of those who have been wounded and even destroyed by the hypocrisy and duplicity in the message and systems of the church—if only the sins of the leaders had first been addressed. Many youth and onlookers would surely have viewed the church’s message and the church’s systems through very different lenses.
Great food for thought!
This article raises a number of questions for me….not because I disagree but because I am trying to fit odd pieces together. Here are the pieces: most current churches do not have the discipline of the churches in your story. Also, contemporary leaders don’t have the kind of authority that leaders in your story had. A large segment of pastors I am familiar with are in despair with the response of their angry congregations to government, COVID, elections, and general witness to a secular society. It is as if pastors are experiencing an enormous gulf between the actions/behavior they desire to see in their congregation and those that are actually occurring. What I often observe are renegade churches with pastors who feel powerless to call us back to Jesus and His Kingdom. Anyway, maybe what I’m seeing is churches who’s fury and troubled testimony are pushing people away and pastors who are despairing with these churches. A recent study suggested 70% of pastors are actively looking for a different vocation. Anyway, thanks for prompting thinking…I’m simply wrestling through some of these realities right now.
Thanks, Jeremy for your reply. I realize that my stories don’t precisely illustrate most church experiences today. You are correct in that this post does not address the despair of leaders who are facing the anger and disunity of the church community. I wish I had tied it more closely to the conversations I’m currently having with people who are completely disillusioned with faith and the church because of the offenses against them from authority figures. I feel like you and I are looking at the same issues through a different set of conversations and experiences at the moment. Thanks again!
Fascinating, this is generally the whole premise of my blog . I find that race adds an interesting layer to this issue.
You are correct. In my mind, I applied this to numerous layers of life, but didn’t specifically mention all of them. Thanks for your comment.